Understanding the new English Language


I don’t considering myself to be a hip and hopping mom, but I do think that I pretty aware of the current trends in the world, whether it is fashion or music but I certainly pick and choose which to ignore or happily get involved in the new fad. But one think that I seem to be learning something about these days are the new sayings (see last weeks article of BRF) that are forming part of the new Urban Dictionary. Don’t get me started on the acronyms of the teenage world, my limit is WFT or BRB but that’s as far as I allow myself to go. This morning while driving the work I came across a new say “Pulling the Rip Cord” (Thanks Catboy – https://twitter.com/Catboy92) while it was described as the moment in a relationship when a woman gains a lot of weigh because she is comfortable but little did I know it had a far more literal meaning, one which I would actually describe as gross, for more info – http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pulling+the+ripcord – Beware it is rather graphic. This gave me a thought and I did a bit of research on what the new meaning of the mundane words in the world are and here are some of my favourites.

  • Askhole – A person who asks to many stupid and pointless questions. (a toddler, perhaps)
  • Analrapist – Somebody who combines the professions of analyst and therapist, thus becoming an analrapist.
  • Bedgasm – A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.
  • Brosama Bin Laden – A best friend that you never see. He’s always hiding or just at home.
  • Chairdrobe – The art of piling clothes on a chair to be used in place of a closet or dresser. If a chair is not available one can always defer to a floordrobe.
  • Chronoptismist – A person who always under estimates the time necessary to do something or get somewhere.
  • Dracula Sneeze – Holding your arm up over your face in a position similar to Dracula holding up his cape and then sneezing into you elbow
  • Douchebaguette – A female douchebag. A woman who exhibits characteristics of a douchebag.
  • Execubabble– Verbal executive communication in broad, vague terms that rise above normal speak. Characterized by an excessive use of executive words such as robust, paradigm, and drill down.
  • Frisbeetarianism – The philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck.
  • Glomp –  Is the action of one person lovingly (and dramatically) attacking another with a hug. A glomp is often predatory and lies somewhere in the grey area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone.
  • Hiking in the Appalachia – To have an extramarital affair.
  • Manstration – When a man is going through his monthlies.
  • Neighbornet – What you get when you connect to your neighbor’s internet, with or without his or her knowledge.
  • Obamafuscate – To engage a smoke screen of nonsensical political type weasel words in the guise of openness to blur and cover one’s negative actions, deeds or relationships.
  • Rectumobile – An expensive sports car or similarly overpriced automobile that is driven by an asshole in an attempt to impress others.
  • Textpectation –  The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.
  • Vatican Roulette – Called so because it is the only form of contraception endorsed by the Catholic Church.

In actual fact there are so many of these new terms that it would take some one months to sift through the contents of Urban Dictionary. It actually gave me a bit of a headache and Im no richer for it. But its good for a chuckle if you can get past the sexual and racial innuendos that are very prevalent though out. But it does remind us that the English language is evolving or perhaps devolving as we get older. The Queen’s English is spoken by very few people these days and perhaps that is also not a bad thing, stiff boring conversations and Downton Abbeylike behavior is very stifling but I cant say that I am a fan of the new For Sheezy my Neezy either! Where do you sit on this fence?

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